Mr. David Chappelle and Sir Axl Rose

A mental affliction has recently befallen Mr. David Chappelle, a negro farceur, and he has retreated deep into the dark heart of the African continent. To little surprise, Henry Wigglesworth and his journalist peers have seized upon the man's misfortune as an occasion for celebration: They splash his frightened face upon the pages of their wretched penny dailies each morning, and rejoice in surmising upon the cause of the man's dementia. Do they not see that it is by their very own handiwork that this now-mournful jester has been sent fleeing to his ancestral lands?

The crucifixion of a man of social standing is a daily occurence in the social pages, yet the plight of poor Mr. Chappelle has affected me most profoundly. For his current woes bring forth in my mind another tragedy of years past, one which I had hoped to abolish from my memory forever... that of Sir Axl Rose. In the late years of an earlier century, Sir Rose's ballads played softly in many a young lad's ears. His verses were ardent, and his cherubic voice the perfect channel for them -- particularly when accompanied by the strumming hand of a fellow virtuoso. In my youth, I had occasion to attend one of Sir Rose's recitals, but declined for fear that a fellow concertgoer might visit violence upon me. It is a decision that haunts me to this day, for shortly thereafter, the editors at the penny dailies set about dismantling the man's life -- just as they are assaulting Mr. Chappelle's today!

I will not dwell upon the sordid details of Sir Rose's demise; to do so would be too arduous for you and I both, dear reader. Instead, let us take comfort in the knowledge that, though now estranged from the fame and renown due onto him, Sir Rose has found some solace in things otherworldly. I have learned that he is a student of the Arcos Cielos Research Center, where, under the tutelage of Dr. Elliott Maynard (an alumnus of the University of the Trees), he is learning of the Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon and the Magnificent Engines of Gaia. Mr. Chappelle, take heed! For though Henry Wigglesworth and his minions have set their claws upon you, they have no claim over your social rank and the proximity to the spiritual that comes with it. Sir Axl Rose and Kirk Cameron both have found refuge in piety; I implore you to do the same.

Comments

[youarelame]

Penny dailies? This isn't the 19th century

[erik]

"This isn't the 19th century", that's all you have to say? Wow, not only do you possess a razor sharp wit, you're also an amazing historian. Could you comment on a different blog now? thanks that would be great!

[Maria]

Perhaps Mister or Miss Youarelame simply regrets that she lives up to the unfortunate name her mamma or pappa has betowed upon her witless self.

As for Sir Rose, I do find it tragic that he felt he needed to go to a medic make his face ever so taut in such a common manner. I suppose musical virtuosity does not prevent one from making tragic appearance mistakes.

[Adam Powadiuk]

hi george, great site

[Elliott Maynard, Ph.D.]

Most Noble Fop/Dandy...Sir Axl has indeed partaketh of the devine nectar which Arcos Cielos offers all. Through 30 hard and bootstrapped years of earnest and arduous work we are assisting some of the leading-edge thinkers of the world in an attempt to bring Spaceship Earth, its Biosphere, and Human Inhabitants into proper interrelationships with each other. Sir Axl has produced music which is so far ahead of his times, he will undoubtedly drag legions of "Appetite for Destruction" fans kicking and screaming into the future. Axl is a "Maistro Extraordanaire." Who of you will have the courage to accept his Quantum Leapfrogging of Musical Genius ?? Elliott Maynard, Ph.D., President, Arcos Cielos Research Center